Finding My Type: A Type 9’s Journey into Enneagram Wisdom

When I first discovered the Enneagram in 2019, I didn’t know I was stepping into something that would change the way I see myself, my relationships, and the world. It wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, it took me a long time to find my type.

I resonated with parts of many types — the empathy of the 2, the idealism of the 1, the introspection of the 4. But none of them felt like a full fit. I couldn’t quite land. It wasn’t until I really started looking at the deeper motivations, the avoidance patterns, and especially how I showed up (or didn’t) in relationships that I found home in Type 9 — specifically, the sexual (one-to-one) 9.

As a Type 9, I have a deep longing for harmony and connection, but with that comes a habit of merging with others, losing track of myself, and avoiding internal tension. For years, I couldn’t name that. I just knew I was tired. Quiet. Sometimes invisible — even to myself. I would give up my preferences without realizing it. I would silence my voice to keep the peace.

But the Enneagram became a mirror — and a map.

Through this lens, I started seeing not only my patterns, but also my gifts. I realized that my quiet presence has power. That my desire for harmony can include my own inner world. That my voice matters — not just to others, but to me.

One of the things I love most about the Enneagram is how it deepens our compassion — for ourselves, and for the people we love. When I work with clients or couples using the Enneagram, it’s not about labeling anyone. It’s about uncovering the “why” behind our behaviors, softening our judgments, and bringing clarity and grace to our relationships.

The more I explored the instincts, the wings, the lines of growth and stress, the more I understood how nuanced our inner landscapes truly are. Especially as a sexual 9, relationships are where so much of my transformation happens. They call me to wake up, to stay present, to show up fully as myself.

If you’re just beginning your journey with the Enneagram, or still unsure of your type — be patient. The right insights will land when you’re ready for them. This isn’t a system for putting people in boxes. It’s a tool for liberation — a way back to your essence.

I believe we all carry a deep inner nature — and the Enneagram helps us to discover our best selves.

Begin within.

Cathy of Inner Nature

Want to explore your Enneagram type more deeply or use this work to bring healing to your relationships? Let’s connect. I offer 1:1 Enneagram Coaching sessions and customized deep-dive journeys.

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