Trying to Show Up for Everyone (And Myself Too)

Planning a wedding brings a thousand decisions, a million details, and countless conversations with people you love.

And somehow, even though it’s your wedding, it’s also very much about everyone else: their feelings, their schedules, their questions, their expectations. It’s life, it's having relationships, it's beautiful, and it’s a lot.

Lately, I’ve found myself stretched between wanting to be deeply present for this once in a lifetime chapter… and also feeling a rising pressure to have it all together for everyone else.

We’re in the midst of planning our December wedding. Jon and I are spending more intentional time with people who matter to us: family, longtime friends, new friends, and people we truly want to feel loved and included. That part feels right. It feels honest and good.

But I’m realizing that as much as I want everyone to feel valued, I don’t always have the capacity to meet everyone's needs or answer everyone's questions in the exact moment they're asked. And that can be hard for me (not just logistically, but emotionally).

Because when other people are stressed, I feel it in my body. When they’re unsure, I want to provide the answers. When they ask for clarity, I want to give it... even if I’m still figuring things out myself.

And while connection is one of the deepest values I hold, I’m learning something I didn’t expect to confront during this season:

You can’t pour your presence into every cup and still have some left for yourself.

Sometimes I need quiet. Sometimes I need to turn off my phone. Sometimes I need to say, “I don’t know yet, but I’ll let you know when I do.” And that doesn’t make me a bad friend, or flakey, or ungrateful. It just makes me… human.

I want our wedding to be full of meaning, not micro-management. I want the people we love to feel honored... not just through timelines and texts and details, but through how deeply we connect with them. And I want to feel like myself: grounded, openhearted, joyful- not scattered from trying to be everything for everyone.

So I’m letting go of the idea that I have to hold it all. I’m learning to pause instead of fix. To trust instead of control. To choose presence over perfection.

Because in the end, this isn’t about one day. It’s about building a life. And that means honoring both my relationships and the sacred relationship I have with myself.

I’m still learning how to hold what matters without losing myself, and I know I’m not alone. Thanks for letting me breathe through this moment with you.

With love and breath,

Cathy

Inner Nature - Begin Within